“I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22”

Indulge me. There’s nothing more important to me than my family, particularly my two daughters. And today, my youngest daughter Emmalyse celebrates a special milestone – she turns 22.

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After a long drought of no musings from your SpinMeister, you may be wondering what has prompted me to finally put fingers back to keyboard or proverbial pen to paper. This blog post is a shout out to a remarkable young woman who has enriched our family with her sass, her cheek and her sweetness.

Fondly known to me as Emmalyse Bumble Bees – a singsong nickname I gave her years ago, the endearing moniker has morphed into Emmalyse Bumble Beast, with Emme’s edgy cynical wit and sarcastic way of thinking.

A second child to busy well-intentioned parents, she often laments that I didn’t maintain a journal of her early life like I did for her older sister when she was first born. But that doesn’t mean I don’t remember her hurried entrance into the world and the special way she has enhanced our family.

Tuesday’s Child is full of Grace

Similar to another summer long weekend 22 years ago, the Tuesday following Simcoe Day in 1995 was August 8. We had spent the annual August civic holiday at my brother’s for a BBQ and got home just before midnight. By 2 am, I was awake with contractions. By 3:30 am we were at the hospital. And by 4:18 am, fewer than 40 minutes after entering the delivery room, Emmalyse Helena was born.

She was beautiful. I remember being astounded at how round and perfectly symmetrical her head was. She had dark eyes and perfectly shaped rosebud lips.

When the girls were younger, we used to watch a reality  TV program called True Beauty. In the show, host Vanessa Minnillo and two other judges assessed the contestants on their outer beauty as well as their inner beauty. For their outer appearance, professionals were brought in to measure the symmetry of the contestants’ faces. This score would be added to others and a winner would be named.  Emmalyse would have exceeded all measures for her facial symmetry and outer beauty. Her inner beauty ranks at the top of the chart as well.

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Now when it comes to her hair, she didn’t quite win the lottery. Don’t get me wrong, it’s beautiful like her, it’s just that it’s very fine like mine.

When she was born, she had a mop of superfine dark hair that stood straight up from her scalp. As she got older, the hair got longer but no thicker. As a pre-schooler we watched a Canadian children’s television series called The Big Comfy Couch. In addition to Loonette and Molly the Dolly, there was a character called Major Bedhead and another loving label was showered on Emmalyse.

Always with a sparkle in her deep brown eyes, a mischievous smile on her cheeky face, and a flare for the dramatic, Emmalyse has brought an energy and vitality to our family that has entertained and charmed us.

Now you may be wondering why I think the age of 22 is so magical. Well as someone who is known to be a lover of words and letters, my prowess with numbers is often under appreciated. But as someone who was born on the 22nd day of the 11th month, I have a thing for same double digits.

I remember my own 22nd birthday like it was yesterday. Newly graduated from university, I wasn’t quite ready to enter the working world. Instead, I set out to travel the world – or at the very least a good part of the southern hemisphere. With a backpack and a one-year work visa, I took off for a year to Australia and New Zealand. One of my first ports of call was Fiji where I celebrated my champagne birthday with a tropical fruit drink, a group of other young twenty-somethings, and a few Fijian geckos and lizards. A pretty memorable birthday and the start of a remarkable year.

22 is the year one defines one’s self and marks the beginning of the path one wants to follow in her life journey. Officially an adult since turning 21, a 22 year old is no longer constrained by the routine and boundaries of the education system, nor restrained by parental influence, nor confined by the exertions of unwelcome peer pressure.

At 22 one becomes accountable and fully prepared to embrace the responsibilities of individual choice and self-sufficiency. At 22, one continues to define the woman or man one is meant to be.

I’m very proud of Emmalyse and excited to see what her grand 22nd birthday year has in store for her. Like me, she graduated university at age 21. But unlike me, she started her first career job just one business day after handing in her last university assignment.

At the same age a generation later, she is already years ahead of where I was in putting in motion her master plan for achieving her life goals and  designing her life’s big adventures.

 

If there is anything I can take away from my own journey and share with Emmalyse as she considers her own path at 22, it is to surround yourself with good people, to not be afraid to lean in to take risks that will stretch and develop you as a person, and to be confident in following your own road. Say “Yes” to opportunities.

In the immortal words of contemporary recording artist Taylor Swift, “Everything will be alright, if we just keep dancing like we’re 22.”

You won’t believe what happened when 15 strangers spent the night at a 150 year-old mansion

20170331_213722Anyone who knows me knows that I love nostalgia. It’s the small trivial bits of history that build the bigger essential story of how we came to be and why we are as we are.

I’m also someone who loves games. Puzzles, word games, mind games. When you can combine the two into a single evening it’s my ideal of entertainment heaven.

So on the last dark day of March I grabbed my two besties (my husband Donald and my favorite gal pal Jill) and headed out to one of Toronto’s oldest mansions – Spadina House.

In the heart of Toronto’s Annex, this historic heritage home and museum pre-dates Confederation. Built in 1866 by Toronto financier James Austin, the home is now a treasured time capsule of Toronto during the interwar years, a transformative time in our city’s growth from its colonial roots to the cosmopolitan centre we are today.

Frozen in time, the house is modelled in the decorative Art Deco style that was popular in the affluent Roaring 1920s and Turbulent 1930s. Our very own Downton Abbey in the 6ix, if you will – surrounded by 6ix acres of maintained gardens.

As part of its mandate to engage visitors and connect them with the past, the Spadina Museum was hosting its annual 1920s Party Games Night:

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Our tour and games hosts Cathy, Emily and Liza explained to us that people began to have more leisure time in the 1920s as the result of industrialization and the invention of many new conveniences that simplified day-to-day living. Popular parlour games and newly developed board games served to provide hours of home entertainment for families and friends.

Donald, Jill and I weren’t the only ones to venture to the mansion to play some parlour games. We met a young couple named Sara and Ibrahim and a pair of college professors named Kaylene and Jennifer. But it was the young group of 20-somethings who drove all the way from St. Catharines and Oakville dressed in their flapper finery who arrived en masse and really embraced the spirit of the event.

Together we played a number of fun, silly games taught to us by Cathy and Emily.

Simple games like Celebrities where you write down the name of real or fictional people and see how many you can guess in a minute, to Consequences where random words are dropped onto folded paper to create a crazy story were just some of the games that simply required a pencil, a bit of paper and a lot of imagination.

One of the sillier games we played was Pictures, an early forerunner to Pictionary and the Telephone Game. Here, the first person writes a sentence, the next person draws a picture that represents the sentence folds the paper and passes to the next person who only sees the picture and has to write a new sentence. The game continues until the paper gets back to the first person. Have a look below at some of the stories and pictures our team drew:

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Another game we played was First Line Last Line where one person read us the synopsis from a book, then the first line of the first chapter and we had to guess the last line. We had to craft a credible last line that would earn us points for everyone who selected it.

With a standard deck of cards and a handful of spoons, we played Spoons, a card game that is reminiscent of musical chairs:

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From card games to games of logic and creative word play, we spent an amusing few hours that resulted in hilarity, some hearty laughs and overall just plain silliness. Luckily for us, we were provided with instructions for the games we played and other games we could play with our own families.

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As part of the evening we were able to tour all three floors of the mansion, including the upper floor with its views of the garden and city vistas that are usually not part of the museum tour.

A family home for three generations of Austins, the Spadina House was renovated and enlarged by James’ son Albert Austin and his wife Mary in the late 19th and early 20th century when they lived in the home with their five children. It was Anna Kathleen, Austin and Mary’s last surviving daughter who arranged for the home to become a Toronto Historic site in 1978.

A major restoration in 2010 illustrates the evolution of styles in this historic home reflecting the mid-Victorian to 1930s Colonial Revival styles and includes items from the Arts and Crafts and Aesthetic Movements, as well as items from the Art Nouveau and Art Deco styles.

So what happens when you take 15 strangers and put them in a 150-year old mansion for the night?

You get one great evening of fun!

Before we left the museum, I purchased a small bar of lavender soap and a post card of the Spadina mansion to remember my visit.

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The gift store also sold vintage toys and board games just in case we got tired of the parlour games we learned.

For more information email spadina@toronto.ca or call 416-392-6910.

In the spirit of the public art project #MyCityMySix where Torontonians tell their story in just six words, here’s mine:

Spadina Museum: Roaring 20s time capsule

 

Interesting side note – the word Spadina is an old Ojibwa word for high place or sudden rise in the land. It should be pronounced Spadina with the i as /i/ in ski but it is more commonly pronounced with the i as /ai/ in mine. 

St. Patrick’s story begins at Slemish

 

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Slemish Mountain, County Antrim, Northern Ireland

 

I have sat in St. Patrick’s chair. I have walked where the legendary patron saint of Ireland roamed for six years. And it is my happy place.

Today, as Irish descendants and not-so Irish progeny wear green, drink beer and sing Irish folk songs to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, I mark the festive occasion with a video tribute to Slemish Mountain.

Legend has it that Slemish was St. Patrick’s first Irish home. It is where he is reputed to have roamed for six years as a shepherd boy before he found God and brought Christianity to Ireland.Slemish St Patricks chair_IMG_2286

I first heard tales of Slemish as a child from my paternal grandfather. Pop Pop lived with us from the time I was 12 until I was 24. I used to sit with him in his room at the front of the house and he would regale me with stories about growing up in Northern Ireland. Son of a stone mason, he lived near Buckna in County Antrim just outside Ballymena and near to the base of Slemish. As a boy he would climb the basalt plug that was the central core of an extinct volcano.

I made my first pilgrimage to Northern Ireland in 1981 with my sister Heather. Pop Pop’s youngest sister Aggie and her daughter Mae took us to Slemish for our first climb. My second trip to Slemish was in 1990 when I visited Aggie and Mae for Easter. Mae and I climbed Slemish with my young second cousin Stephen. Stephen was only 12 at the time and is the son of Mae’s brother Ivan.

It would be another 20 years before I was able to return to Slemish. In 2012, my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary by taking our girls to the U.K. While Hannah and Emmalyse had met Stephen on one of his visits to North America, they had never met Mae or Ivan. We stayed with Stephen and his family in Scotland where he lives now and then made the trek to Antrim to reunite with Mae and her husband John and Ivan and his wife Maureen.

Mae knows that Slemish is a rite of passage for me every time I visit the Emerald Isle. She and John toured us through the Glens of Antrim and brought me back to Slemish so I could make my tertiary climb.

My daughter Hannah was the first to reach the summit and to capture the panoramic views that have remained unaltered over time.

My husband and I weren’t too far behind.

Last year in 2016 I had the privilege to once again return to Slemish. Emmalyse was studying at university in Edinburgh. She and her friend Helena had spring break so Donald and I decided to visit. We met up at Mae’s in Antrim.

Once again, Mae and John chauffeured us around and gave us the royal tour and returned us to my happy place. Reaching the peak of Slemish we were able to amble on some of the same trails where St. Patrick had once tended sheep.

I celebrate St. Patrick’s Day to acknowledge my Irish roots and pay tribute to a family heritage. Pop Pop was the only grandfather I knew. He brought to life stories of Slemish and an unknown Irish family.

When I hike the rugged terrain of Slemish Mountain, I think not only  of that young shepherd boy from the 5th century who became a patron saint, I reflect on a man who immigrated to Canada when he was only 20 and who meant the world to me. I think about my Irish family  who I love and treasure, and I ponder a young girl’s childhood memories of her own personal happy place that she can share with her daughters and pass on to future generations.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day 2017.

If you want to see more of Slemish Mountain, here are a couple more videos from our 2016 visit.

And in the words of a traditional Irish poem:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

How my birth order got it right – sort of

I’m one of five. Youngest of the four girls but not the youngest of all the McCrory kids – my brother Jamie takes that honour.

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There’s a lot been written about birth order and how our personalities are shaped by the order in which we came into the world. They say that first borns will be the most responsible, ambitious and serious, the middle child feels overlooked but innovates and adapts to compensate developing strong social skills, and the youngest will be the happy-go-lucky baby of the family, a little bit risk-taking and definitely attention seeking .

It’s true that my sister Susan is responsible. In my mind, she’s always been a grown up. When I was small she was like a little mother, a little bit bossy, telling us what to do.

I remember coming home from school one cold December day boldly stating with dramatic effect that there was no Santa Claus. Earlier that day Andrew Walker and Linda Christiansen in my grade 3 class had delivered this startling revelation to me. I was devastated and testing the new theory. Rather than comfort me and assure me that my classmates were mistaken, she commanded, “Shhh – Don’t tell Jamie.” (I had just turned 8).

Susan is also very accomplished. She not only has an undergraduate degree in theology, she completed a post-grad in teaching while her daughters were young and is the only one in our family to have completed a Masters. And while she can be serious, she can also be extremely goofy. When I’m looking to dance or do something silly she’s the first I turn to. She will sing nonsense like me, stand on her head if you ask her, and laugh with you until you pee your pants.

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Janet is a typical second child who also happens to be a middle child. A little overshadowed by a clever older sister she had to carve her own path. She has highly developed social skills. In a crowd or in new situations she will be the first one to initiate conversations and ask questions. She will glean information from complete strangers and can uncover their life stories in a matter of minutes.

She’s also a gamer. When it comes to cards or board games she knows how to play the game. She can navigate a game of Risk or a hand of Euchre better than anyone. And when it comes to jigsaw puzzles she will tenaciously figure out where that elusive piece goes. If you want to win, you always want Janet on your team.

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Heather is the beauty of the family. She’s the only blond-haired, blue-eyed one among us. She’s also extremely capable, organized and generous. Even though we would have played together as children, I tell people I didn’t truly become aware of her until I was a teenager. The sister closest to me in age, she’s a full 3-and-a-bit years older than me. Those bit years really make a difference.

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When I was starting high school Heather was completing grade 13. To my 14, she was 17. She had a boyfriend, she was smart and hung out with the Math Club Geeks – you know, all the kids who had accelerated twice and who were most likely to be class valedictorian. She epitomized everything I knew to be #myteenagedream:

 

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GIF Source: Giphy

 

It’s fair to say that of all my siblings I’m probably closest to Heather. That doesn’t mean I love her more, it just means that I talk to her the most.

We have a lot of the same interests and we’ve spent the most time together. When she was at university in Waterloo, I would travel by bus once a semester to visit her. After she graduated, we traveled through Europe together. When we were starting families we both had two daughters who would become close cousins and friends.

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Heather is my inspiration and my muse. She’s my fitness guru who introduced me to running and yoga. She will always run faster than me and challenge me in a race. A talented cook and gifted gastronome, she makes a mean meal and will act as my consultant whenever I’m planning a party. She will also help me declutter my house and my mind whenever I’m overwhelmed.

Jamie is the baby of the family. He’s also the only boy. Mum loved him best. He was a preemie born two months before his due date. But that didn’t stop him from growing to more than 6 feet.

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There’s no denying he was pampered. One of the stories I’m best known for in my family is my personal lament that I never got a bike. Sure I rode one as a kid. It was a hand-me-down of Susan and Janet. My first and only bike is the one that I bought myself when I was 24. It still sits in my garage and comes out once or twice a year.

But Jamie? Oh no! He had a 10 speed bike when they were first becoming popular. AND he was given a banana seat when they were first introduced in the 1960s.  I got him back though. I conveniently forgot I had laid his bike in the driveway one day when he had deigned to let me ride it. My dad drove over it.

Jamie and I are also very close. Only 18 months apart we definitely played together as kids. I once told my neighbour we were nearly twins because I heard my mother say something along the lines that we were tied at the hip. He and I share a love of music together – and believe it or not, of cycling.

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Growing up, we were always sent as a pair to our grandparents or our cousins while our sisters and our parents were doing something else. His kids too are the same age as mine. Our families get together every Canada Day just to hang.

Heather always said that Jamie and I were our parents’ second family. Susan, Janet and Heather were the first family and then we came along and were the second family. As the younger two, we were given more leeway than the older three. We never had curfew, we were given more liberties, offered more experiences and we had the benefit of travel opportunities our sisters never got.

I once told my mother she loved me the least. She loved Susan because she was the eldest and had moved to another province in her early 20s, she loved Janet because she was a congenital amputee and needed her support, she loved Heather because she was beautiful and smart and she loved Jamie because he was her only boy and her baby.

My mother had the audacity to laugh at me. She told me that when you have  5 kids the one you love the most is the one who needs you most at any given moment. According to her, I never needed her.

Now of course that’s not true. What she was telling me is that I was always independent. I was always quietly confident. From the start, I was never afraid to try new things to meet new people. I was the risk-taker, the attention seeker. I would assuredly take the #roadlesstraveled and see things through my own imaginative lens.

These are the traits of a youngest born. While Jamie was the baby, because he was the only boy, studies will tell you that he also assumed the characteristics of a first born or an only child. He is responsible (most of the time), serious (except when he’s relentlessly teasing my youngest daughter) and quietly gentle. A man’s man and a woman’s man – the type of guy who was raised among women and understands how to see things from both POVs.

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My sisters will tell you that when I was a baby I was so ugly I was cute. I knew I was an accident of birth. Heather was right in that I was the start of family number  two. Jamie was planned because they didn’t want me to be raised alone. People would always assume that because I was the last of four girls and quickly followed in birth by my brother that my parents were holding out for a boy. “Not true,” said my parents.

My mother would always share with me the delight she and my father took in having a fourth daughter. While they had both hoped for Susan and Heather to be boys, for Janet and me, she said they wanted girls. They wanted same gender siblings. Pairs of daughters or pairs of sons. Two peas-in-a-pod, so to speak.

As you can no doubt tell, family means a lot to me. The legacy our parents left us is to be a close and loving family. We’ve had our fair share of family dramas. There have been rip-roaring fights and disagreements but we always settle them. That’s what family does.

I may go for weeks or months at a time from seeing one sibling or another but I know that each of them would be there for me at a drop of a hat. In fact each of them has.

I can relate umpteen instances where one or all of my siblings has rushed to help me when mini or major crisis has struck. Like the time they banned together to get me to the airport in time to make a family wedding. Or the time they rushed to be with my kids when my husband was taken to hospital and I was stranded in a snowstorm in Calgary. Or the time they were simply a sounding board when I was trying to figure life out.

My siblings are my rock. It doesn’t matter to me if they’re oldest, youngest or middlest. Whether they’re bossy, competitive, beautiful or smart. They are all kind, generous and compassionate. And reliable. And fun.

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Being among the youngest I could argue that my parents saved the best for last. Rather, I see it that I’m among the last of the best.

Last summer was the first time in a long while that we hadn’t all gotten together as a family. I’m looking forward to 2017 when we can reunite as our original Party of Five.

Hugs, kisses, tickles and an I love you. XOXOX